2015 - An Explanation

So in the whole of 2015, I wrote 11 blog posts - less than one a month.

A lot has changed in this last year, and some things still are, and I think always might, remain the same. I'm still ill, barely any progress has been made this year into why I'm ill. I'd like to say I'm surprised but as a pessimist I'm not, however I am trying to be positive that 2016 might be the year they fix me!

Dave is still the same, it's nice having someone so reliable. I doubt he'll ever change, and I'm OK with that.

We're still in the cottage, but our Landlord has changed. The house was put up for sale in the Summer and lucky for us, another Landlord bought it and is happy for us to stay. Something I'm very glad of as I really hate moving house.

The time I have spent crafting this year has taken a dip, which has probably then impacted on my blogging because I had less content. The main reason for this is because I started a new job. At the end of August I finally left the call centre after 3 years! I've gone back to working in a Letting Agents which is what I did during the University holidays. Going back to full time has been hard, but I won't deny its been nice to bring home a normal wage again! I don't have the time to crochet at work like I did at the call centre, and I've then been coming home and having no energy to do anything except eat my dinner and go to bed.

So one of my goals for this coming year is to get back on track with my crafting, especially as I never have to work a Sunday any more so could potentially dedicate the entire day to crafting (and laundry because its never ending). I have the added incentive of the lovely posh camera Dave bought me for Christmas and the portable light studio to photograph all the things I make. This is proof, once again, that Dave knows me better than I'll ever know myself and that's why he's so good at gift giving. I'd also like to finally get my Etsy shop up and running, but I'm trying not to be too optimistic!

To anyone who may have stumbled upon this post, I wish you the happiest of New Years, and I hope that you accomplish everything you set out to do!

xx

Christmas 2014

This should have probably been posted a few days ago but I’ve been living in an Internet nightmare. I hope everyone had a lovely time, Christmas day always feels really busy now that I live away from home. We stay at our house on Christmas eve and have the morning to ourselves, then we went to Dave’s parents for presents and Christmas dinner, and then we went to my parents for our second Christmas dinner and the third and final gift exchange. Dave was very insistent on getting his 2 Christmas dinners, even though he was too full to eat that much at my parents!

I was spoilt (as I am most years), my big present from Dave this year was tickets to see Miss Saigon in London on my birthday in a  few weeks, and then my birthday present is hotel/transport etc while we’re there. I think its made a little bit more exciting by the fact that we will be spending one of the nights with our friends Liza and Leon, we also get to meet their Hamster Winston. I have loved Miss Saigon since I first saw it almost ten years ago. Its lovely and tragic and the songs are just so darn catchy!

He also bought me this crochet book which looks quite standard but is actually amazing, I may review it in a future blog post, it has pretty much every crochet stitch ever invented, as well as patterns so you can try out all the new stitches you’ve learnt. I couldn’t help myself and have already started a new project from it; I found something that my friend Bekki (whose birthday is 2 days after mine) will love and I just so happened to have the perfect wool for it in my stash. Can’t wait to share it when its done!

My sister got me a Carebear onesie, its Gloomy bear and even comes with a grumpy face on the hood. Since receiving it I have worn it a lot and I am starting to wonder how I lived without one. I think its great and I love being able to crochet without my arms getting cold!

My mum and dad really spoilt me this year; as well as the standard bits (nail varnish, pyjamas, socks) they bought me…

I will post a better photo soon!

…my own sewing machine! Not going to lie I did squeal a bit when I opened it, it was a complete surprise. Dave gave them the idea, I've borrowed his sisters one for a bit but its exciting to finally have one of my own. I can’t wait to make lots of lovely things with it and have already been roped into some alterations (it’s inevitable in a family of short people).

I had to go to work on boxing day, we were all scheduled to work either boxing day or new years day.I went in armed with lots of crocheting expecting it to be a quiet day, and it was the exact opposite. There was a constant queue of calls over my whole shift, although I do think it sometimes makes the day go quicker.

  I am looking forward to 2015, I’ve had a horrible last year and unfortunately I think I brought my family and friends down a bit with me. So I intend to spend the coming year (trying to be) optimistic. I haven’t made any resolutions but I have made a list of things I would like to have achieved by the end of 2015. I’ve tried to make them all achievable even if I don’t get any better in the next year, but crossing my fingers I do.

Wishing you all the best for the New Year xx

Blog Pondering

I've been very lax with my blogging lately. I have had some genuine reasons; being in hospital for a week threw almost all parts of my life out of balance. Even small insignificant things like having to throw away lots of food that didn't get eaten because I wasn't there to cook and Dave was at the hospital with me until late in the evenings so wasn't eating properly, washing backed up, crafting came to a grinding halt while I was there and my blog was the furthest thing from my mind.

Over the last two years I have gotten sicker and sicker and I feel like things are slipping through my fingers. The once meticulously organised me has slowly descended into chaos.

 I hate it.

I feel like I have so little control over my life at the minute. Tomorrow I may wake up and feel only slightly nauseous and be able to have breakfast or I might spend the majority of my morning dry heaving in the bathroom. I might be in minimal pain meaning that my painkillers will do their job, or I may be in crippling agony that no amount of pills will touch.

No matter how I feel I will try to push past it and go to work for the few hours I can manage; I've had the comments from my colleagues, about how lucky I am to finish early every day, to not have to come in before midday. 

It makes me feel like screaming.

I would gladly let them take my place. No. I don't mean that, I wouldn't wish this existence on anyone. That's what it feels like, not a life just existing. I'm now getting to the point where I'm starting to have to seriously consider the fact that I may not get better. Ever. If that's the case then something has to change because I can't carry on like this. 

Which brings me back to my blog (its been a bit long winded). I have to seriously think about whether I want to continue, my blog deserves a lot more care and attention than I've been giving it. I'm not under any illusions that there are loads of people out there who will be reading it, but its still a thing, a project I've been working on, and it deserves the same attention as any project. 

I've given it a lot of thought, and I'm not willing to give up on this just yet. The craft blogging community is large and so welcoming. It's something that I am proud to be part of it. I have met some wonderful people, and I have enjoyed sharing my crafting. So I vow to me much more organised; it may not kick in until the new year but I promise I will.

I'm also hoping to be much more organised with the rest of my life...I'll keep you posted on that one

Have a wonderful weekend xx